Humbling Myself….

“Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.” James 4:10

Humility, as defined in the Holman Bible Dictionary is, “the personal quality of being free from arrogance and pride and having an accurate estimate of one’s worth.”  One’s worth. Humility will allow one to review themselves and their work.  This is true in the secular world as much as it is in the spiritual.  However, the spiritual is and should be the main and absolute most important area of examining our worth. 

The Psalmist David asked the Lord God to search him.  Search his heart and his ways and his thoughts.  David knew his worth to God and the love of His Father for him.  All the many mistakes David had made and the Lord loved him deeply.  David’s love was ridiculous for his God in return, so much so that he danced in the streets nearly naked before his Lord to honor and praise HIM.  He didn’t care what his wife or others thought about his act of worship.  He chose to worship.  Like a madman who was thought to be drunk! I desire that type of worship for my Lord. To be willing to worship with abandon and be ridiculous in the sight of others if my worship is pleasing to my Jesus.  That’s my hearts’ desire. 

Yesterday was a humbling experience for me.  It was placed on my heart to sing a song which demonstrated the power of Jesus name.  You see it is easier for me to sing without music.  If I forget words or miss a note then I can pause and resume without the music running ahead of me.  For years I had chose to not sing in public because fear and pride would strike me.  I allowed the yoke of the enemy to weigh me down with “what if” fear.  What if I sing off key?  What if I forget the words?  I made so many excuses to not sing for my Lord, other than in the privacy of my bathroom or in the car.  I would even stop singing in front of my husband for fear of ridicule.  Fear trapped my thoughts and works.  Fear is from pride.  Pride produces fear.  So when the Lord liberated me from so many things this past March, I chose to use my gift to sing in public again.  For HIM.  To worship HIM.  To encourage other believers in song.   I refuse to let the rocks cry out in worship ahead of me!!! 

So I had a couple of days to listen to the song on youtube and practice.  I couldn’t get through the song without tears flowing, snot running and falling on my face in worship to Jesus.  I wasn’t certain if I could get the song out at church without all three happening.  If it does then it does, I thought.  So yesterday I took my cell phone up to the podium and had my words pulled up as back-up.  Asked the Lord to accept my gift of praise through song to Him and began.  I forgot some of the words and sang off key at some points.  I had to stop and get back on track with a word to finish on the correct note.  Fear.  It hit. I was being tested.  “Try me and know my anxious ways.” Oh boy did He try me.  Was I going to continue in the song or quit because it wasn’t perfect….NO!  Am I going to allow fear to yoke me again from worshipping Him in public through song?   NO Way!!  Thankful my knees were not knocking this time while singing so I could walk–straight –back to my seat.  I sat down, patted my sweating forehead with a Kleenex and prayed.  Silently I prayed….”Lord, I pray that the imperfect attempt at this song will be perfected in your sight…..In Jesus name, Amen.”

I left as quickly as I could from the auditorium after an awesome message from the Pastor.  I didn’t want to be told, “Good Job”, or even worse, “Beautiful Song”, because I was humbled already in front of the congregation.  I tried not to think about it anymore, hoping they would forget I had messed it up.  It was meant for my Lord anyway……though I really wanted it to sound good.  Then something amazing happened.  A praise team member thanked me!! Then an honest gift from the heart of a lady in Sunday School class said it was a beautiful song. Then after I got in the car a text came from another dear sister in Christ that said, “amazing song.” What was happening? My Father’s hand telling me He allowed hearts to hear how majestic HE is through the message…..not the bloopers?  He took my act of worship and created praise for Him.  Elohim.  The yoke has been broken Satan…..the yoke has been broken. 

Dear brothers and sister in Christ.  If you have been given a talent or gift from the Creator, don’t hide it.  Even if it isn’t perfected….give it to the masterpiece maker. “For we are God’s masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10  Give your praise to Him Christians……He perfects the gifts of the heart.  Thank you Jesus for humbling me so that you could show me your strength through my many weaknesses.

 

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